Day 2 Sober

I wanted to tell my family and closest friends what I decided. My mom, brother, sister in law and I are on a group chat. I told them, "I don't want to talk about it right  now but I decided to go to AA and stop drinking." My mom initially thought I was sexually assaulted. My brother and sister in law responded in shock but supportive.

I still felt ill from Thursday nights shit show (now it’s Saturday). I made breakfast but ate it slow. I didn’t want to throw up again. My roommates asked me if I'm not drinking anymore, period, or if I'm just going to limit myself to one or two drinks.

I told them I can't just have one drink. I don't even remember the last time I just had one drink. I requested they not ask me if I want a drink, because I would want to say yes, and I can’t. I mention they don't have to do anything differently because I am the one that has to change what I'm doing. It was difficult to see people around me drink. I envied them. I was jealous. I want to be able to drink.

I cleaned the house and got ready to meet my best friend. We met in Annapolis for Thai food with my pup Bailey. It was painful to see her in pain when I told my story. She was very supportive and proud of me for making this decision myself. She said I was strong to do this and she knew I could do it.

My mom says we are part of a unit, and if one person is hurting, we are all affected. I never thought of family as a unit. Perhaps my actions did affect the unit because they wanted to make sure I was okay. My brother later told me he didn’t think I would ever have a problem. People still tell me they had no idea.

I told my closest friends via text. Which was probably not the best approach but a lot of them live out of state. I also didn’t know how to really say this in person or over the phone. It’s hard to admit.  A lot were in shock but most understood and were proud. Others didn’t understand and made bad jokes. Unfortunately I had to cut ties with those friends.

I realized I starting drinking like this since I was 17. It got worse after I turned 21 and could freely go out and buy alcohol. This has been a habit for years and it’s a lifestyle I have to change, forever.

How was your day two of being sober?

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