Sober St. Patrick’s Day

Updated: Aug 9, 2021

I went to the local beach the day before Saint Patrick’s Day. The weather was beautiful and the people were interesting. Different age groups smoking cigarettes outside the bars and dancing drunk on the boardwalk.  Lots of green. Most of the trashcans I passed smelled of stale beer. The outside bathrooms smelled of vomit and piss. I started reminiscing about my past St. Patty’s Day experiences. In college I would go out the Saturday before, wearing some high green funky socks and a green shirt. I’m not Irish but it’s a reason to go out and drink. To bar hop and get drunk.   One year, my then Irish boyfriend and I probably started the day drinking something Irish. I remember one Sunday, I ate cabbage and something else Irish with my then Irish friend. Hungover. Another year, I spent the Saturday with a guy that didn’t want to commit to me. We had Jameson and Baileys Irish Cream while he played guitar and I listened, petting his German Shepherd. Another year, the mission was to find green beer. I wanted green beer. My night wouldn’t be complete without having fucking green beer. My best friend remembers this night because I was angry about a guy who stood me up and I kept cursing until I found green beer. I WANT FUCKING GREEN BEER. We found it and it wasn’t great. Do I miss these days? No, not really because I’m not Irish so it’s just like any other day now. I don’t remember what I did last year when I was sober, honestly. But this year, I people watched.

How was your St. Patrick’s Day?




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