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Tricks to Fake Drinking

Tricks to fake drinking---to trick your mind and others around you to think you’re drinking:

1) Want a drink that looks like a vodka soda? Ask for a club soda with lime and put it in a cocktail drink. People think you’re going hard.

2) Add a splash of cranberry juice to your club soda and with lime to make it look like a mixed drink.

3) Create non-alcoholic cocktails at home, especially during the holidays. There’s actually decent Sangria recipes out there.

4) Ask the bartender to make you a virgin cocktail. Be sure to not say “a virgin Shirley Temple” because this bitch gave me a GIN SHIRLEY TEMPLE one time.

5) Get juice that looks like the color of wine and drinks it out of a wine glass. I like Welsh’s juices and sparkling juices.

6) Miss the taste of beer bubbles? Try carbonated water or a soda, like Coca-Cola.

Ginger Ale is a great substitute for Champagne. I’ve recently toasted using Ginger ale for New Year's Eve and my Birthday.

7) When you start to feel uncomfortable during an outing, leave. There’s no reason to keep staying out when everyone around you is drinking, and you can’t, and you don’t have to explain yourself. Don’t allow anyone to make you feel bad.

I’ve learned these tricks over the past year to still feel included in social events but also not draw attention to myself of the woman who doesn’t drink. Especially at work happy hours, events, or meeting new people. Instead of having to say “Oh, I don’t drink” and have that awkward conversation with a person I just met on why I don’t drink, I just get beverages that look like I’m drinking. Until they ask, “What are you drinking?”. I answer honestly and then get a long pause and a confused face.

What do you do to trick your mind?

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