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When I gave up Alcohol, I gave up:

Updated: Feb 17, 2019

1) Hangovers

2) Late nights

3) Unhealthy habits

4) Anger

5) Regrets

6) Toxic relationships

7) Memory loss

8) Friends

Hangovers—I surely don’t miss this. It’s interesting that we know how we’re going to feel the next morning if we have too much to drink, and yet we do it anyway, ignoring our body’s way to tell us to stop. Then we brag about how much we had the night before and also complain about how we feel. Typically, wasting the next day away by trying to sleep it off, eat greasy foods, drink lots of water, and take vitamins to get our energy back. We should know our limit and stop there, without feeling pressure from everyone else around us. That’s obviously easier said than done.

Late nights—Though I feel old when I turn in early now, I’m listening to my body and my body is telling me it needs sleep. I’m still trying to get into a sleep routine but I’m not staying up past midnight or coming in at 3 am or later as I used too. I realize now how much I need routine and consistency and I wasn’t giving myself that before.

Unhealthy habits—My habits consisted of drinking whenever I was feeling sad or angry or honestly, I didn’t need a reason. I wasn’t dealing with my emotions in a healthy way. I would suppress my feeling. Instead of talking about it, I would drink, trying to make it go all away and bury them deep. Now, when something is bothering me, I write it down or talk about. I also had terrible eating habits and that’s something I’m still working on. Work in progress.

Anger—I had a lot of anger about my past but learned to forgive. I won’t ever forget but I have disconnected with people that made me angry, particularly my family. I think it’s important to recognize what makes you unhappy or angry in your life and deal with those problems. Otherwise, it will eat you away. Now, I meditate, exercise, and draw to release anger.

Regrets—I’m the type of person that says “Everything happens for a reason” and “I don’t regret it because it’s what I wanted at the time”. This is true for me in most cases but when I look back, I wonder if those situations would have happened if alcohol wasn’t involved. Would I have still made that decision? Would I be a different person? Did I blackout or is it my head trying to suppress the memory of events?

Toxic relationships—Not only did I have a toxic relationship with myself but I did with guys too as well as other people. My last two relationships were unhealthy and I wasn’t strong enough to recognize that until after the fact. Was I attracted to toxic people? Were they drawn to me? Why couldn’t I recognize this? With a sober mind now, and being in a healthy relationship with myself, I see that the relationship I’m in now is healthy. We ignore signs that we know is wrong but yet continue to be in the situation anyway. Probably from fear and hoping that it will work itself out. I don’t think this relationship with Perry would have worked out if he did drink. He has one drink when we’re out with friends but he has NEVER had a drink in our home.

Memory loss—I find my memory is so much sharper than it used to be. With proper sleep and taking away excessive drinking, I remember details and conversations so much better now. They say your brain isn’t fully developed until age 25, and maybe I’ve killed some brain cells along the way, but it can only go up from here.

Friends—I didn’t think this would be a factor until I started telling my friends I have a problem and I decided to stop drinking, forever. I lost friends that didn’t understand why, the friends that said “Oh, so not even one drink?”, the friends that said “You don’t have a problem”, and the friends that I would only drink with but didn’t share any connections with. I lost friends that didn’t support me because when you’re going through something this big, you need support. You need to change the environment you’re in and the people around you. You can’t just take alcohol out of the equation and expect different results. You have to do things differently, and it starts with who you associate your time with.

What did you give up when you gave up alcohol?

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